MR. JUMBLES AND THE UH-OH TREE, by Changela Stacks. (Loosington Children’s Press) Oh bother, what has poor Mr. Jumbles gotten his penis stuck in this time?
THE SLOGANEERS, by Hep McSworley. (Lumbago) A pair of hotshot 1920s ad men hole up in an isolated New England beach house for a month to invent a new slogan for soap, but fail to produce even a single grammatical English sentence.
THE STAR-WITCHES OF PRANCILLA V, by Leonevieve Sampler. (Grunch Press) The 1970s psychedelic space opera finally gets a second printing, with all the loving, paragraphs-long descriptions of transdimensional intercourse restored.
NIX: THE [DELETED] HISTORY OF PRESIDENT NIXON’S PROG ROCK CONCEPT ALBUM, by J.M. Filkington. (Fartagnan Press) The secret history the Democrats DON’T want you to know.
HOW TO CONDENSE YOUR LIFE INTO A GLOWING CUBE, by Shex Fandango. (Smop) Where does The Cube come from? What is it made of? Do not ask. You must never question The Cube.
THE ORCHESTRA CONDUCTOR WHO FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH HIS WIFE AND INTO LOVE WITH A FOREST MADE OF DREAMS, by García Hunches. (Precalc) A thinly-veiled metaphor for the author’s philandering.
FLAN-DERFUL!, by Bermice van der Smoot. (Crumplings) The cookbook where everything is flan! Includes recipes for San Fran Flan, Bran Flan, Dan Flan, Man Flan, Can Flan, and Flan Flan. As van der Smoot says, “Everything can be a flan, numbnuts!”
MUST LOVE DONGS, by Charlie Super-Nintendo. (Badminton) Two urologists find love.
BLOOD SALTS, by Dr. Herbine Jansley, Witch/MD/DDS. (Jansley Press) You’ve heard of healing crystals, now get ready for harming minerals! The QVC host and twice-indicted (but never convicted!) int’l arms dealer describes her path to success.